Food Beginnings

There’s a lot of trialling and tribulating that takes place in my life. Yeah, I’m thirty-********* years old, but at the same time, I’ve been in a position where I didn’t always have to fend for myself. So here I am, ostensibly in mid-life, learning basics about how to feed myself. Turns out I’m a voracious reader (and eater, especially during hockey season), so this works well.

I had seen posts on teh interwebz about Thug Kitchen. Always thought it was good for a laugh, partly due to the language, and also because they were making simple recipes using really basic ingredients that looked fucking delicious. Turns out, they really know what they’re doing.

I bought their cookbook sometime shortly after moving into my new place. Got down to the business of trying out some of their recipes, and wouldn’t you know it, they’re so simple they make me look like a fucking genius in the kitchen. I had always been labelled as someone who made a giant mess in the kitchen, and you know what, it’s all true. But I know how to make a pretty damn good soup now, or a stew that will keep your belly happy for a long, long time, or eggs Benny, or, or, or, or.

And meals weren’t just the end of it either. Much like I did with beer a few years back, where drunkenly I pledged to only make my own home-brewed beer for consumption at home (subject to minor caveats like having large gatherings, etc), I pledged to do my best to not buy snacks for my kids’ lunches — no more pre-packaged granola bars, or cookies. I’m making all that shit from scratch. Matter of fact, as I’m writing this, I’m just finishing off what I deem to be the best batch of chocolate chip cookies I’ve ever made. The recipe was one that I had gotten from my mother, and now, gentle readers, I present it to you:

3/4 cup granulated sugar

1/4 cup firmly packed brown sugar

1/2 cup unsalted butter, softened

1 egg

1/2 tsp vanilla extract

3/4 cup all-purpose flour

1/2 teaspoon baking soda

1/4 teaspoon salt

1 1/2 cups porridge mix oats (mine include large flake, quick, wheat germ and flax seed, just for extra yumminess)

1/2 cup semi-sweet chocolate chips

Preheat your oven to 375F.

Mix the sugars and the butter together until fluffy (I have a Ninja blender and use the food processor bowl with the dough blade). Add the egg and vanilla extract and beat until smooth. Next, add the flour, soda and salt and mix together. Stir in the oats and chocolate chips.

Pan using two small spoons, a dozen per bake sheet. Bake for 8-10 minutes or until lightly brown.

Makes approximately 2 1/2 dozen cookies.

So, take that recipe and examine what’s going on from a cost perspective. You get 2 1/2 dozen of the tastiest fucking cookies you’ve ever put into your pie hole, and if you were a savvy shopper, it didn’t cost you hardly anything. 3/4c flour is worth about 10 cents. 1c sugar is about $0.25. 1/2c butter is probably one of the more expensive things at about $1.00. An egg costs me around $0.25. Soda, salt, we’re talking fractions of a cent. Porridge mix (the good shit) is probably $0.60, same for the chocolate chips. All told, 2 1/2 dozen cookies for about $3.00. Sure, I could probably go buy a package of cookies on sale for the same or less. Truth of the matter is that I know exactly what went into those sons of bitches, and moreover, my kids will have the pleasure of using them as currency on the playground when they need a favour. I know I did when I was little.

Better still is that my 13-year-old has discovered a knack for kitchen life. For a while there, I jokingly referred to him as “Home Ec” and I would occasionally say stuff like “hey, Home Ec, go make some cookies” to which he’d go and take his iPod, source himself a recipe for something like sugar cookies, and fucking rock them. Then we’d sit around and drink milk and eat them.

And therein lies great joy as well, even so far as this very evening that I’m writing this post – happens that I’m writing this on Taco Tuesday (an observed food holiday in our household), which happened to coincide with National Pizza Day (who knew?). The end result? Taco Pizza. Ground beef, crushed tortilla chips, cheese, salsa, tomatoes, lettuce, all baked onto a pizza pie. Not bad, I daresay. Through and through, my kids were in the kitchen with me, helping out with walking down to the store, fetching ingredients, chopping veg, stirring things, etc. They see the value in the acts, and are learning in the process.

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