I’ve consciously been trying to reinvent myself. Certainly for the last two years, this has been the case, but I’ve been making an even more focused effort over the last six months. I’ve been challenging beliefs, challenging methods of operation, and really trying to make better sense out of what it is that I do on a daily basis. My focus right now is to be more effective at being me. Sounds a little bit hippy-dippy, but I do know that there are a number of ways with which I can streamline my life and be better at being me.
Kristy introduced me to this North Node thing. I’m not usually a big astrology guy, as there are a lot of factors that I know I can control and take care of myself, and I’ve poked around a little bit inasmuch as I’ve had an astrology chart done, and sure, you can draw inferences from one source or another and make things apply to your life, bending your circumstances to match what’s printed on the page. That’s basic psychology and belief stuff. Writ-large, though, this North Node stuff was fairly accurate. I’m not going to say that I’m going to rewrite my life based upon this, but it certainly gives me some food for thought as I go through this next phase of transforming my life.
For as organized as I appear to be, and for how tightly my shit might look like it’s wound, at the centre of my being, if I don’t have some kind of routine to keep me in line, I’m rudderless and slovenly. I’m totally content to lose myself in social media or news reading, or to neglect tasks like bed making, laundry-doing, dish-washing, etc. There are times when this is totally okay, and I get that, but by-and-large, I know that I need to do better.
Enter the written routines. I’ve noted over time that I’m far more productive if I have procedures and schedules in place, rather than trying to wing it. For as much as I’d like to pretend I’m spontaneous, I think I just need to admit to myself that I’m not. I value routine, I value the ability to work within a box. I value the idea that *these* tasks need to be accomplished inside of *this* space in *this* amount of time. That North Node thing said that I can accomplish in one hour what most folks do in five. I work well under pressure and on deadlines. I’ve got a pretty good track record in that department. Time to do that in other parts of my life.
I’m going to try out the written routine thing for a little while and see where I end up. It’s not exactly going to be stuff like “brush teeth” or “wash face” but more things like “prepare breakfast smoothie the night before” or “ensure dishes are washed before heading to work”, or “get your fucking ass out of bed and do some kind of fucking physical activity in the morning you idle bag of water…” Oh wait, hangover from the army… But you get the idea. And I’m still going to write in my requisite social media time, because, dammit, facecrack.
The hopeful end-state for this is that I’ll be able to make oft-neglected things more of a priority by scheduling them in. I’ve got VAST tracts of my day that conceivably (and frequently) go unchecked and unaccounted for. Using lists and procedures, I get the sense that I can hack my life into being more productive than I already am.
Okay, I get the sense that some of you are snickering and nodding along thinking that this is easy-peasy shit. Sure, for you, it might be, and I applaud you. For a dude that struggles with this stuff, it looks and feels really daunting.
So I guess I’d best stop losing myself in words and get on the horse…